When my friend mentioned to me that she had to give a man the brush off but that she desperately wanted to do it nicely, I imparted some of my words of wisdom…
“Decline his invitation kindly and then finish the email with ‘Take Care’.”
“I don’t think that’s going to give him the right message!” she said incredulously.
“Take Care is the new Fuck Off and Never Contact Me Again,” I told her. “It’s common knowledge that if someone tells you to ‘Take Care’ as their final words, they actually hate you and don’t give a stuff whether you take care or not.”
“You are joking?”
“No! I first used it a few years ago to say goodbye to someone and it worked! So then I used it again… and again…”
“How many times have you used it?” she giggled.
“Oh, just enough. I had it said to me once.”
“Maybe he actually wanted you to take care,” she said kindly.
“No. He seriously wanted me to fuck off which was brilliant because the TC words had been bugging me for weeks but I didn’t have the guts to say it.”
“Is this common knowledge, then… this Take Care phenomenon?”
“I don’t know. I think it just happened. Language evolves like that. You wait and see, it will be a definition in the Oxford Dick before you know it,” I replied.
But alas, my friend didn’t believe me. She sent an email to said man and made her excuses, finishing it with ‘Have a Great Time!’
He emailed her back the following day… she was on the phone almost as soon as she saw it in her inbox.
“You will not believe what that BASTARD said to me!” she said.
” Oh crikey, what?” I said, genuinely concerned.
“One word, ONE WORD, one word…
“which was…?” I prompted.
“He said ‘Okay’,” she said still seething.
“Was that it?” I asked, not knowing whether it would be appropriate to giggle at her indignant tone.
“NO! Then he had the AUDACITY to say ‘TAKE CARE’! I can’t believe it! How bloody rude! I can’t believe it…well he’s not going to get away with it. I’m going to email back straight away and tell him to bloody take care too, the idiot. How dare he tell ME to take care! I’m going to…”
I listened to her ramble on and coo-ed and clucked in the right places until she was ready to giggle about it, which took about, uhmmm, a minute and a half.
‘Take Care’, my friends, is the new ‘Fuck Off’. Use it with caution.